Episode 06 - The One When The Shifts Hit The Fan

As promised today's episode is a continuation of episode 05 where I give you the low down on what happened at the SHIFT event and I'll also be letting you know my three biggest takeaways!


The power house women mentioned in today's episode:

Emily King 

Gina Keeping 

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Transcript

Sarah 0:02

Let me guess you've been feeling overwhelmed, disconnected, or like the world has totally gone to shit.. Well have no fear you're in the right place friends. Our mission here at free spirit stitches is to create more joy in the world anyway we can. And one of those ways is with the create more joy podcast. So join me, Sarah D, your joy seeking, donut eating, crochet obsessed host as we chat about all things joy and how to create more of it in your life, because we know the world really needs it. Now, I'm not gonna pretend it's always sunshine and rainbows because it bloody well isn't, but I do know among all those messy bits, there's lots of joy too. You're guaranteed to hear some F bombs, that's what she saids and lots of tangents. But if you hang with me, I'll help you create more joy. Hello, Hello, hello. you beautiful people. Well, today's the follow up to last episode where I talked about my journey that got me to the shift event in Newfoundland with Emily King and Gina Keeping. So as promised, I said, I was gonna chat about the actual event and all the goodness and magic that went down. So let's get into it, g rab your coffee, grab your blanket. I should have grabbed my most recent project, but my hands move too much when I'm talking and when I'm excited and this one's gonna be a goodie today, so I wouldn't get much crocheting done. Let's get cozy and chat about the SHIFT event. So the theme, if you can't already guess of this event was shift shifting your beliefs, your mindset, making little small shifts within your life s o that you are achieving or accomplishing or moving forward in something that you want for yourself. This wasn't specifically related to business. So it was personal shifts, shifts you wanna make in your business. It all was fair game. It was a full day event. It was magic. Magic. Magic. It was so fun. I arrived there to grab a treat and coffee before the event and Emily happened to be walking out I think we both let out little screams because I hadn't seen her in real life face to face for well, since 2019. So since that original event where I, saw her speak for the first time. We've been in contact I've been coached by her and in, programs and in her communities, but it was all virtual. So that was the first time since 2019 that we saw each other so big, old hugs we had for sure. And that was so nice. So it was really exciting. Started the the day off perfectly. So this event had about a hundred people and like I mentioned, last episode, I went and signed up, said I was going didn't know anybody or if anyone I knew was going. Ended up, there were, a few people that I did know, that were going to be at the event. So that was nice. So it wasn't as scary, but Emily and Gina really made, really made an effort, really made a point that. it was going to be a safe space for you to show up by yourself because sometimes your most intimate, close circle, of friends or people in your life aren't necessarily into the same things, this wasn't their jam. So it was such a cool thing to see how many people actually went by themselves. It was really cool, to come and connect with people that you've never met before, or you just sort of knew about from social media. So we had circle tables, all set up. There was about six or seven people to a table. So we got in there, there was a nice little workbook. I love me a good workbook. So I was so excited for that, cuz they said you need to bring nothing just yourself, you show up. So that's what I did. Once we got into the event, and the day started, we started off by acknowledging why we came. So why did we decide to say yes to ourselves to say yes to this event and show up? We also reflected on how did we want to feel at the end of the event? How did we want to feel at the end of the day, leaving the event and to go along with that? What shifts do we want to make within ourselves? What shifts did we want to make then and there today, then we had to look at, okay, what then do we need to make happen? What do we need to do physically do in order to make those shifts happen? So this definitely wasn't an event where you just came, got comfy in your seat, settled in for the day and listened to people speak. No you're doing work. They make you work for it. One of the things I wrote down, about the shifts that I wanted to make for myself was fully stepping into who I've always been. Maybe you're thinking, yeah, that would be a really great shift to make too for myself. I've always thought okay, gotta filter myself a bit, depending on what group of people I'm with or who I'm speaking with. those limiting beliefs of, okay. I'm too much. Like these people are gonna think I'm too much. Um, and you know, not want anything to do with me. so that day at the event I wanted to. Fully step into who I've always been, let go of those fears. And so in order to fully step into who I've always been, I would have to choose courage over fear. I would have to choose courage of showing up exactly and fully as I am over the fear of either people not liking me, people not agreeing with me or just me not being their cup of tea. So choosing the courage over the fear. So once they officially got us all uncomfortable, with bringing up that stuff right from the bat. This is why I love Emily because she doesn't shy around the uncomfortableness. She doesn't shy around the messy and I love it. So once we acknowledged what we wanted to get over the day, what shifts we wanted to make, then the next thing that we had to do was sit with and figure out, okay, well, what is stopping us from making that shift? Like why haven't we already made that shift in our lives before today. And that's when all of that negative self talk, all those shitty, awful things we tell ourselves that are in our mind telling us why we can't do something. So those are called limiting beliefs. We are limiting our magic. We're limiting our joy, our happiness. We're limiting ourselves in all aspects by telling ourselves these negative, awful gross things as to why we can't do something. Why we can't, apply for that job. Why we can't train for a marathon. Why we can't try a new skill? Why we can't pick up a new hobby? Why we can't go meet new people, make a new friend. There's so much that we tell ourselves day in and day out that we don't really realize that we're telling ourselves. But when you do sit and actually think about it, I think you'll be surprised by how many times or how many crappy things we pour back into ourselves. And so what we focus on prospers. So if all we're focusing on is the negative well no frigging surprise why we're seeing negative things. Why we feel negative things are happening to us, or we only see the negative. We gotta make that mindset shift to say, I'm flipping the script and I'm going to look for the positive. I'm going to focus on the positive. Obviously we can't completely ignore negative things and, and stuff is going to come up. But. If we're more focused on positivity, then we're gonna see a lot of positive things start to show up for us. Start to just be literally right in front of our fucking eyes. So how they got us to start making this shift in our minds of shifting from the negative talk to positive affirming statements and actions and thoughts is they first had us write down all the limiting beliefs or all these awful things that we say to ourselves on sticky notes. So there's lots of pens and sticky notes on all the tables. And we had to write down those things that are in our heads. Yeah, that was super freaking uncomfortable too. Right? You're around all these people you don't know. And we're writing down on sticky notes, all these shitty things that we say to ourselves that we don't want anyone else to know, we're saying we don't want anyone to know, cuz these are our biggest fears and holy crap, how vulnerable is that right? Like we're just putting it all out there, but that's the only way things are gonna change. That's the only way things are going to shift is you do need to do this uncomfortable, messy work. And I promise, I promise it is worth it. So we wrote down these things on sticky notes and then do you know what they made us do with them? They had a group of folks there at the event to help them. It was called their hype, their hype crew, their hype squad that were people that would help you throughout the day, and just assist them in whatever they needed. So they called up their hype crew and we all had to get up out of our chairs, take our sticky notes and literally stick them to these people. And for the most part, they were complete strangers. and we were sticking all of these awful statements and thoughts and just utter nastiness onto another human being. And holy fuck. That was really a profound moment. There were tears in people's eyes, as we were sticking these notes, of all this negative talk onto these other people. And a lot of people are apologizing to the hype crew when we were sticking them on them, because it's definitely not things that we would say to other people. So why in the fuck do we say that to ourselves? Okay. I'm feeling I'm getting fired up here because there's so much negativity going on w e don't need to add to that. Like, let's stop intentionally adding to that. Okay. So stop with a negative talk. We kind of all did like a collective like gasp or like, as we started doing that, it was just, it was wild. but it gets better. Don't worry. We flipped it. We flipped the script. So then what we did to start to flip that script is picked up those same pens and those same sticky notes. And we started to write new statements. We started to write affirming positive statements that were busting all this negative self talk. So we were writing things like I am worthy. It is happening for me. I am a good parent. I am smart with my money. We were flipping that script so that we can speak love and support and positivity back into ourselves, back into our minds because our words, truly matter what we say really does matter. What we say to ourselves matters so, so much. So let's focus on hyping ourselves up. We gotta be our own hype crew. I'm here I'm totally part of your hype crew. However, it's incredibly empowering when we can hype ourselves up. Get your sticky notes out and write yourselves some kick ass, amazing affirming statements and put'em up wherever you need. Put'em all over the place. So you see them. And then it was really cool. They had us. So when we wrote our affirming statements, they had us stick them up on the wall. And then at lunch, they had us go and pick somebody else's and bring it home. The sticky note that I pulled off and I have, stuck on my peg board in my office so I see it every day. I see it multiple times during the day it says I am worth it. And I'm gonna say you're fucking worth it too. So let's not play around with that negative self-talk no more. Okay. There was, there's so many different things that happened throughout the day, but I'm just trying to pull out a few, a few of these major moments that really stuck with me and that I keep replaying back in my head. So another fun exercise. that? I'm saying fun. Y'all like, I don't know. Does this make you feel uncomfortable? And it is, but that literally is part of the fun, because when you're doing these things that make you uncomfortable, when you are putting yourselves out there, you get like, there is this serotonin hit of wow, look at me, look what I'm doing and it is fun. It really is. It truly is. I did this the first time at that event in 2019 with her, she calls it the fuck list. So you're probably familiar with a bucket list. You know, you write down a list of things that you wanna do before you die, or before you turn X age or whatever that milestone is, you have a list of things that you want to do. Emily has this concept of the fuck it list. And what you do is you have two columns on your paper. One column is something I used to believe or my limiting belief. It's bringing that negative self-talk those limiting beliefs that we have and we're writing them down. So just list them all down, get everything out of your head, get all that nasty shit out of your head. Write it down. in the second column, this is the fun part. We get to say, fuck it, to our limiting belief and rewrite the statement and put down something affirming that we know is true that we believe to be true. That is what we will now say to ourselves. That is what we will put in our mind. That is what we will focus on. So one of my items that I wrote down that day. I have my handy dandy workbook with me. One of my items that I put down is I used to believe that I needed way more followers to launch my podcast. Then I said, fuck it. and now I believe the amount of followers I have are perfect and I am launching my podcast. So obviously I did it. You're listening to me now. thank you. Thank you. Thank you for being here and listening. When you write those things down, it really does shift something inside of you and, and it's, it's really cool. It's really magical. And then it shifts even more, if you say it out loud, you do get fired up. Not gonna lie when you first start saying those things out loud, you do feel kind of silly. But literally just say, fuck it. I'm gonna do it. So maybe that is one of your things that, you know, I, I sound too silly when I say affirmations out loud and say, fuck it. I'm doing it anyways. Cuz I tell you, you will feel like a badass. So as you can see there was lots of, self-reflection a lot of like doing, doing the work throughout the day, they also made it really interesting because they had us get up at each break. So at lunch in the afternoon break, they had us get up from our comfortable, cozy seat that we had, where we made these new connections and friends. And they made a switch tables and sit with nobody that was at the last table. The first time that they did that to us, it was kind of funny. Everybody was just like, what are you making us do? This is not cool. But it actually was really nice cuz by the end of the day, you ended up connecting with about 20 different people and that was really just from your tables alone. And then throughout the day there was opportunities to connect with other people. So the day went like that, where we were really looking inward, reflecting on shifts that we wanted to make and coming up with actions and plans to actually do it. So this isn't just, oh, fluffy. We're gonna talk about making shifts, but then not do anything. One of, my favorite quotes or things that Emily says is, goals without action is bullshit. And yeah, it really is. You can have all these goals, but if you're not actually doing something, actually putting forth any type of effort then it is just bullshit. So we worked through l ots of things, busting different limiting beliefs. We were hyping each other up. We were pouring love and support into one another and oh my goodness. The energy there was literally like dizzying. It was so amazing. One of the last things we did. we all stood up and we made two rows of people. We stood shoulder to shoulder, we faced one another and so half us on one side, half us on the other side, you know, all cozied in and pretty close to the people standing across from us. Then one by one each of us would walk down this aisle with our eyes closed. And as we walked down the aisle, the people that were standing there would whisper or say things in their ear affirming something; like saying you are worth it, you are magical, you can do it; you are an amazing mom. You will get that job. You will leave your nine to five. It was really cool because then from all throughout the day, we connected with so many people that they would say those things that we spoke about and, and all of those things that, you know, were hard for us to say out loud, but we did, like, my heart is kind of like beating a little bit right now thinking about, and I have my eyes closed I'm like bringing myself back into that space. That was some powerful stuff. There was, oh, there were tears. So many tears, I cried pretty much the whole time we did that. When it was my turn to step in there, I was extremely nervous. I was excited to do it because it just looked so cool. But then once I got there, I felt so uncomfortable because then all eyes were on me. Within a few feet of walking down the aisle and I mean, I probably walked a good 20 or 30 feet down this aisle. I was a few feet in and I just started ugly crying and hearing those words of people, what they were affirming into my ears, my brain, my body, my soul, it's next level. I've never experienced anything like that and it was amazing at the end, Emily and Gina were there. And I literally just put my arm around both of them and sobbed I just let out the biggest sobs because, oh my God, it just felt it was so it just felt so amazing. And like just this huge, like release of all that shit, right? That we carry on us. That was definitely my most favorite part of the day. And again, it brings you back to the words that we say do matter, you know, that saying growing up, sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me. No shit they do hurt. They can poison our brains. Let's try as fucking hard as we can to stop with the negative self talk. Cuz we wouldn't say that to, we wouldn't say that to our best friend. We wouldn't say that to, you know, our coworker, our sister, our, our brother, our partner. So why the hell do we talk the worst to ourselves? Okay. Wow. There's so much more I could say about the event, but those were the three major parts of the day that really stuck out for me really had an impact on me and that I'm, caring with me and trying to keep that energy, that feeling, that vibe, that motivation or fire in me to keep propelling me for what I want to do for the shifts that I want to make in my life. So that was, a cliffs notes version of what went down at the SHIFT event with Emily and Gina. Now they are doing another one in January. I've already bought my ticket. I am a little nervous, not gonna lie about trying to get, from Nova Scotia to Newfoundland in the middle of January, but I said, fuck it. I'm doing it, it'll work out. The universe will be on my side and I'm really excited. So the other three women that I connected with at the event we're all going. We've already bought our tickets. We're already going. We're booking a table at Cojones. I was there about three times when I was there. I was like there for two days. I was there three times. so we gotta get back, get our spicy margs and chips and guac. I highly recommend it, like this is a 15 outta 10 recommendation to go, to even just consider putting yourself out there and going. So if you have any questions, let me know. One of my girlfriends had said to me, when I was telling her about it she said aren't you really uncomfortable or scared, you know, talking or like saying those things in front of all these people that you don't know. And yeah, for sure it is scary. but I tell you, especially with the people that Emily and Gina bring together, you feel so held and safe just by Gina and Emily to begin with, but just the people there you're with like-minded people, you're with people that are just a tiny bit more courageous than fearful and they're there showing up for themselves It is so incredibly cool. It really is so hard to explain. It is really something that you need to experience for yourself to truly understand the magic and the power that comes from something like that. But, I'll be there in January. So if, you're a little bit scared going by yourself, I'll be there. We can be buddies. Let me know. And yeah, just hit me up and slide into my DMs if you have any questions about it or anything at all, I am always here. The thing about joy is that we are an active participant in our joy. We cannot simply just wait for it to happen to us. We cannot just wait to feel it. We must create it. We must create it for ourselves. Spoiler alert. We are in full control. Of our joy. So my goal with each episode is to leave you with a takeaway what I'm calling a joy challenge, something that you can do to take actionable steps right now today to start creating more joy in your life. Okay, so today for your joy challenge, I want you to do your own fuck it list. write down all the limiting beliefs or pick a handful so we can start somewhere. We just gotta start. So. make your one column and title it; I used to believe and then list, you know, a handful of limiting beliefs. As many as you want. Then in the second column, you're gonna write, but now I believe and literally just smash the hell out of whatever these limiting beliefs are. And when you read it out loud, you're gonna say, I used to believe X, Y, Z. fuck it now. I believe ABC. Put those things somewhere that you can see them or if that seems slightly uncomfortable right now, then stick them somewhere where you can pull them out when you need to light that fire under your butt. When you need that little extra pep in your step or reminder that you can do it, you are worth it; bring out your fuck it list. So I used to believe, fuck it now I believe and let's get some shit done. Thank you so much for listening. I hope you enjoyed that episode and if you did, please spread that joy everywhere. Also make sure that you're subscribed so you don't miss any of the fun. And if you're feeling really fancy, go ahead and leave me a review. I spend most of my time on Instagram, so you can find me there at free spirit stitches. I would love to know when you're tuning in or taking part in a joy challenge. So tag me at free spirit stitches and use the hashtag create more joy podcast so I can celebrate right along with you, or if that's not your jam, just slide into my DMS and say, Hey! Now if you really wanna double down on the joy, I have an amazing free 20 page guidebook to creating more joy when you subscribe to my newsletter, so you can grab that now on my website free spirit stitches.com. Till next time I'm sending you all the joyful vibes.