Episode 07 - The One With Ryan Reynolds And Sandra Bullock

Today's episode is about a time I got hit by a pretty big sign from the universe and why you need to start leaning in and trusting yourself. You have all the answers in you - you just gotta listen! 

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Transcript

0:01

Let me guess you've been feeling overwhelmed, disconnected, or like the world has totally gone to shit. Well have no fear, you're in the right place friends. Our mission here at free spirit stitches is to create more joy in the world anyway we can and one of those ways is with the create more joy podcast. So join me, Sarah D, your joy seeking, donut eating, crochet obsessed host as we chat about all things, joy and how to create more of it in your life, because we know the world really needs it. Now, I'm not gonna pretend it's always sunshine and rainbows because it bloody well isn't, but I do know among all those messy bits, there's lots of joy too. You're guaranteed to hear some F bombs, that's what she saids and lots of tangents. But if you hang with me, I'll help you create more joy.

Sarah 0:51

Hello, my lovelies. And welcome back to another episode of the create more joy podcast. I feel like I could probably sing all my words. I won't sometimes I just get in the, um, get in that groove and, and it's just fun. I don't know. Try it. Hot joy tip. Sing your words. So, before we jump into today, I want to do a little check in of our joy challenge from last episode. And so that was the one. Okay. Earmuff the kids, if they're around, it was our fuck it list. I wanna know, I wanna know what you've put on it. So please send me a message. Send me an email. I wanna know, cause to me this is the exciting stuff is when we are actually taking those steps and taking action to create more joy in our life, because that's the only way that we're going to. So check in for myself, for my joy challenge. I, this will be a little bit cryptic only because I don't want to reveal everything just yet because, I don't know exactly what it is, but there is a piece of not a piece of my business, but a new offering or a new piece to my business that, that I want to start offering in the very, very near future. I just, there are some details to work out. My fuck it list or my item was that I used to believe the people didn't want what I have to offer or what I want to offer. So I've said, fuck it. Now. I believe. Yeah, you do and everybody needs this, so I'm doing it. Okay. I know that is really cryptic, but like I said, I haven't figured all the details yet, but stay tuned. So hopefully you had fun doing that. And like I said, tell me about it. I wanna hear about it. So this is kind of fun. Like I said, about taking action steps and we have to take action. And that's the only way we're going to create more joy in our lives. That's the only way we can create a more joyful life. And this is like a perfect segue into today's episode. So you'll have to bear with me as I'm piecing through this because I have like four or five or probably 27 different, trains of thought that is bouncing around in my head. And I promise in the end, it will all come together, but you should know by now sometimes seems a little, seems a little hairy, but we do, we do get er together in the end today. I wanna talk about settling. Okay. So first do a little bit of an English, English mini lesson here. And so I just Googled what the, the definition of settle was and it is a verb in case you're wondering and it says resolve or reach an agreement about, so you resolve or you've reached an agreement about something. If you sit and think about that for a minute, even the first word resolve to me, I, I guess I did take it more on the negative of like you're resolving to the fact of something where you reach an agreement about something. So yeah, it could be a positive thing, but the first part of this probably won't be so positive. When you settle for something, you're resolving to the fact, or you've decided and reached an agreement in your head that you're not worth having what you actually want to have. Usually when we're settling for something in our life, it's because we're thinking, well, that won't ever happen for me, or it could be worse so I should be happy with what I have and should like, that's a word; I hate that word, that will be definitely in an episode sometime all about the shoulding anyways, back to settling. And normally you, you are settling for something saying, you know, I can't have this vision or this dream or whatever it may be. And even if you have a dream, it doesn't have to be this humongous, lavish, audacious dream. There are there're simple dreams. There are very lovely, simple dreams, no matter the size or, or what your definition of a dream is, it's your definition of a dream. And when we settle for something less than our dream. Ugh. Right. Like, Ugh. You know, you know that doesn't make you feel good. So today that's what I wanna talk about. I wanna talk about a time where I was, I kind of woke up to the fact that, wow, I am settling and I don't want to anymore because there's only one person that's responsible for the quality of the joyfulness, the amount of joy that we have in our life and it's you. Okay. You are solely a hundred percent responsible for the joyfulness that you create within your life. So the story that I'm gonna tell is. Um, this was like, it doesn't seem like it was that long ago, but it was, so this was, I was in, a relationship. Wasn't with my, my current partner, my husband, it was a relationship and we were in it for a few years. We loved each other you know, we were really interconnected with one another's families and friends and all that jazz. But I remember I went to see a movie, i t was The Proposal. The one that had Ryan Reynolds and Sandra Bullock in it, Ryan Reynolds was her, assistant anyway. So if you haven't seen it, look it up, cuz it is a good one, but I was sitting in the movie theater and watching this movie and there was a particular scene in the movie. And, in that moment I went, damn this isn't the relationship for me. And it just hit

7:43

me

Sarah 7:44

Of course, there's gonna be little things like your body and your environment, the external, it does give you some of those indications, right, b ut it just had really hit home while I was sitting in the movie theater watching, watching this movie and I was like, you know what, no, I don't want to settle for something less in a relationship than what I actually want. So at the point, one of the thoughts that I had was, you know, this relationship is good, because I thought, I don't know, I was in my mid twenties and I'm thinking, oh my goodness, I don't wanna start over. How crazy is that sound? That is so nuts. I only lived like a quarter of my life and I was already like, ah, that's fine. This is good enough. I can, you know, I've reached an agreement with myself that this relationship is good enough and this will be a good enough life. But Nope, that day in the movie theater, I literally said, fuck that I don't want that anymore. I'm not settling. So I gotta do something about it. Now, also mind you, I am the biggest hopeless romantic ever. I do get carried away with some of my TV shows and my movies and the characters. I mean, I just take that for great writing and, and production and direction of these and acting right of these actors. I do understand that that's not real life, however, at the same time, I was like, no, I, I do want that feeling. I want something that I had seen in that movie. I had decided for myself, I was not settling anymore. And that was really the first time. Well that I can vividly remember right now, really feeling a clear sign from the universe that was saying, Sarah, you need to do something about this. Now I wouldn't get really comfortable in trusting myself and those guttural responses and, and those signs from the universe until much later, but it has to start somewhere. It starts with one, right? One little ripple, one little thing, one little, decision that you make to decide you're not going to settle. And this is where I come back to you are 100% responsible for your joy. You can't put that on anybody else. That's not fair. That's you just throwing excuses around. You are 100% responsible for your joy. So I started reading this book. Literally. I just started reading this book last night. It's called The Success Principles by Jack Canfield. He was one of the authors. Do you remember the chicken soup for the soul books from back in the day? I did like those, but this book was recommended to me. And so I picked it up and I literally am only, I don't know, 10 pages in 20 pages in or something, but there is this one section where it talks about events plus the responses you have to those said events, either present day or in the past will give you a particular outcome. Okay. So the responses you have to events will derive an outcome. If you aren't liking that outcome then you have to change something in that equation. Okay. And more often than not, what we have to change is our response to said event. We get so hung up in our habits and we just think, oh, that's either the way it's always been. That's the way I've always been. That's the way they've always been. We get stuck in conditioned responses to particular things, to particular people, to particular events. And obviously our past experiences will shape our present and our future, but we need to stop for a moment and take control of that. So take accountability, take responsibility to say even though that's how it's always been and has been going, and I have settled for X, Y, Z in the past today, we're stopping that. Today you are stopping that because you were the only one that can change it. So we gotta stop blaming other people. I don't wanna say blame yourself. It's not, I'm not here to say, start shitting on yourself. No, just say, okay. Yeah, I'm aware of that. I am taking responsibility and I don't wanna settle for this. I don't wanna settle for this relationship. I'm in that isn't completely fulfilling me. I don't wanna settle for this job that I'm in that makes me feel like crap every day that I show up and go to this job. I don't wanna settle for, I don't know you have a goal of a certain time for your 5k or 10 K run. You don't wanna settle for that anymore. You're going to then change your responses that you're having to that. I might have lost you there for a couple minutes, but let's bring it back. If you are settling for something, you cannot completely feel as joyful as you can, or probably as joyful as you want to feel. So the moral of today is simple. Don't settle, don't settle. There's no need to settle. The thing about joy is that we are an active participant in our joy. We cannot simply just wait for it to happen to us. We cannot just wait to feel it. We must create it. We must create it for ourselves. Spoiler alert. We are in full control. Of our joy. So my goal with each episode is to leave you with a takeaway what I'm calling a joy challenge, something that you can do to take actionable steps right now today to start creating more joy in your life. Okay. Your joy challenge for today, which I'm sure you've already guessed, but it is to stop settling, find something that you have been settling on. And like I said, it doesn't have to be anything huge. The little tiny changes matter. And sometimes they matter the most because usually we stick with those changes and they snowball into bigger changes. So stop settling. And if you're thinking, oh no, I'm not. There's nothing. Sit here for a moment. Close your eyes. If you can, if it's safe for you to close your eyes, take a few breaths in and out. And by now, you probably don't even have to think about it. As soon as you were listening to the episode and I said, stop settling, that thing popped into your head. Whatever that thing is; decide what small action you're going to take for you to stop settling. The first action really is to say, I will not settle for less than what I am worth. And darling, you are worth so much, so much, you're worth like all the stars in the sky and the moon and the planets and the galaxies. Okay. You catch my drift. You are worth it. So pick that thing and stop settling or something does come up and you find yourself being like, yeah. Okay. No, that's fine. No, no, no. It's not fine. Stop settling. So to build your confidence, to get there, to take those steps towards not settling and, taking and asking for what you truly want, use a few of these affirmations. Write them down is really powerful. If you do say them out loud or say them to the mirror so you can see yourself saying them. I AM ENOUGH. I AM WORTH IT I AM CREATING THE LIFE OF MY DREAMS. All right, lovies. Get on out there. Stop settling take what's yours, what you deserve and let's get it! Thank you so much for listening. I hope you enjoyed that episode and if you did, please spread that joy everywhere. Also make sure that you're subscribed so you don't miss any of the fun. And if you're feeling really fancy, go ahead and leave me a review. I spend most of my time on Instagram, so you can find me there at free spirit stitches. And I would love to know when you're tuning in or taking part in a joy challenge. So tag me free spirit stitches and use the hashtag create more joy podcasts so I can celebrate right along with you, or if that's not your jam, just slide into my DMS and say, Hey! Now if you really wanna double down on the joy, I have an amazing free 20 page guidebook to create a more joy when you subscribe to my newsletter. You can grab that now on my website freespiritstitches.com. Till next time I'm sending you all the joyful vibes.